A Good Day

New couches! I helped my roommate select new furniture last Saturday. It was delivered this morning, and is so comfy and good looking. Yay for grown-up furniture.

 Before. (Well, after we dismantled and chucked the old stuff.)

And after! There is an arm chair that matches. The living room begins to look less like a dorm!

Today was the Christmas Program. I sang. I played the Piano. My favorite part was the arrangement of Silent Night I did for piano, flute, violin, and cello. It was my first real attempt at arranging, and I like the result! I stole a lot of notes from two other arrangements... I'm not that brilliant. We don't really sound super great, either, but we had a fabulous time working on it together. None of us, except the pianist, pull our instruemnts out except once a year for Christmas. Its nice to have a reason to play. This is after Sacrament Meeting. I wanted to play it one more time for the camera, and you!  We had fun, and here it is: Silent Night by Franz Gruber, arranged by Dwynne Zenk. (Thanks to Addison for pointing the camera.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8poXz8dYEK0  (click if you can't view here.)

Denver Update

The best part about my life here in Denver so far has been my current temp assignment at the Colorado Department of Regulatory Agencies (DORA). For some reason, temps are hired for 6 months only for the state. Sadly, I'm in my fifth month, but I am loving every minute of every day. The department regulates any professional that requires a license to do business. I work with the Program Area that regulates Dentists, Nursing Home Administrators, and Veterinarians. Odd mix, but the workload is balanced. There are 4 other women on the team and a Program Director. I like 'em all! We are a good team.


I started by assisting with the Dental Board, and  I have to admit I got a kick out of calling dentists and identifying myself as calling from the Colorado Board of Dental Examiners and hearing them snap to attention and listen hard to what I had to say. Not many people get to claim they get to make Dentists squirm… it’s usually the other way around! But somewhere in my third week, my supervisor told me they’d hired someone for the position I was filling. So I spent the next couple weeks training the new girl.

After that, I floated around as assistant to the other Boards my area covers, the Nursing Home Administrator’s Board and the Board of Veterinary Medicine. That lasted for a few weeks, then Rosemary claimed me for the Vet Board. It turns out she was to retire at the end of November, and wanted to train someone to fill the position before she left.

As soon as the position was posted, I applied. It was incredible timing: I took a Tuesday off to register my car and get a CO driver’s license. About 3:00 that afternoon, as I was in line to get my picture taken for my license, my supervisor called and said that the position was posted the previous day and that it was closing the following day, so I had that evening only to submit an application. So I got my driver’s license and was able to go home and use it to prove I was a CO resident on my application. I was pleased with the timing- I felt it meant that I was doing the right thing, in the right place, and clearly at the right time.

A few weeks after turning my application in, I was given an “exam” of sorts which included detailed work experience questions and required verification contact information. It took me a whole weekend to finish…then it took Human Resources two months to tell me the exam didn’t score high enough. And that was it. I’m not up for the Vet Board position.

Since then Rosemary has retired and I am the Administrative Assistant for the Veterinary Board. I’m here, doing the job, loving it. If someone has a question for the Board, and they call the number, I get to answer: Colorado Board of Veterinary Medicine, this is Dwynne. They I get to answer all kinds of interesting questions that usually take reading the Colorado Statutes aloud and interpreting them over the phone. I get to write letters in formal language, which it turns out, I’m good at. The third day after Rosemary’s retirement, I helped a lady file a complaint against a vet who – she thinks- let her dog die. She was so tearful over the phone, understandably upset, and after we were done, she wrote me the following email:

Your personal compassion and listening ear has made our pain with the loss of a beloved pet and family member a bit easier to bear. You are a perfect choice to be in your challenging position.


Thank you again for your help this morning. It is appreciated more than you realize. Please let your immediate supervisor know that you should be considered as a valued staff member for going above and beyond and recognized for such performance.

How great is that? My THIRD day! Perfect choice for the position. How ironic…how sad. I’m perfect for this job. I understand it. I’m good with the public. I’m learning a lot. It’s interesting. It’s important. I like helping in this way… and I don’t get to stay. Even the stupid bus route is perfect as it goes past my apartment and drives straight to my very building downtown. Everything about this job would be right.(Yes, I forwarded it to my supervisor, who forwarded it to hers… and No, it doesn’t make a difference.)

So I get to stay until January 21st, then I’m jobless again. Unless a miracle happens, which my poor little heart is pretty much set on, which means I’m going to be disappointed if my hopes are dashed. I can’t quite grasp that I’ll be leaving. I’ve already done so much to improve the position! I’ve bitten off a big project by revamping everything, but I believe it will be easier on the person coming in; whom I will also have to train. This will make the fourth person this year I have trained as a temp to take a full time position. FOUR. Blah. Someone just needs to hire me.

I’m trying to be excited over another change. God knows what needs to happen, and I trust him with all my heart. I want so many things, and a lot of them contradict, so without a clear idea of what to want for myself, I want God’s will to be done. And so I try to do my best at whatever comes my way.

As for the rest of my life out here in Colorado: I love and adore my Bishop! My ward is friendly and there are a few musicians who make Sundays fun. I’ve arranged my first real-live instrumental arrangement for flute, violin, piano and cello, and the four of us have a blast working on it. (Silent Night) I’m going to be sad when the Christmas program is done. I’ll just have to start working on an Easter piece. I’m serving as the choir pianist and as the Teaching For Our Times Relief Society teacher. I enjoy both immensely. I don’t go to FHE much, but when I do, I have a good time, which is a nice change. There are a few girls in RS that I’m making friends with. My heart feels safe with them, which is a great comfort because my heart does not feel safe at home. My roommate and I have opposite cultures, and she finds my religious life limiting and ridiculous. Her words. She thinks I’m niave. Me. With my knowledge of the truth and eternal perspective, I’m niave. She has a hard heart and so I don’t try to share anything with her anymore. It gets mocked, so no…I keep my pearls before me. And spend a lot of time in my room. I don't mind. I've got interesting hobbies.

I’ve made a friend at work, Nancy, who is motherly and kind. Our building is at one end of the 16th Street Mall, and it makes for great exploring at lunch! She is also a temp and we had to share cubicles for a long while, until I could move into this one after Rosemary left. At first it was awkward, but we adore each other now! Here are some pictures:

This is Nancy at her house on Thanksgiving

Nancy in our shared cubie. View from my desk.

Me in our shared cubie. View from her desk.

This is the Civic Center Plaza, where I slave away all day on the 13th floor. My day actually flies by, the work is so absorbing, I don't even mind the time.

My building on the left...this is how close we are the capitol building. And behind the camera is the 16th street mall. The bus in the picture is one of the many free shuttles that run up and down the mall all day long. Its fun!

This is me, down on the street.

A few weeks ago, my super cousin Alan and I went to the Denver temple to do a session together. I like having someone to meet there. The first time we went to a 5:30 am session. crazy. But so wonderful! He is a good guy, and so smart. I enjoyed having someone to ask questions.

Denver Colorado Temple.

I met up with a friend from High School who lives out here in Denver. Henri! We were choir geeks together and went to most honor choir events together. He is now a biologist... and as much of a geek as ever! My brother sent me a new graphics card and RAM for my birthday to make editing videos easier, and Henri came to install them for me. He set up my computer to run way fast! woah. We had a loooong visit. It was good to catch up with him.

Henri, fixing up my computer.

So, I'm doing well. A LOT can be said for interesting work and good people. I'm thankful for this time, and looking forward to whatever changes come next.

I get to go home next week! Merry Christmas! I hope your Christmases are wonderful and full of love!

National Novel Writing Month 2010

On November 1, I accepted a challenge to write a novel in 30 days. Harnessed with a hard deadline, I persevered in the face of countless obstacles. I wrote with determination, I quieted my inner critic, and now I've reached the hallowed Winner's Circle on nanowrimo.org. again.

As a reward, I get the new web badge to the right, a certificate, and a really, really, messy, convoluted rough draft of a novel. I began with a few plot ideas this year, but I couldn't get into any of them, so I turned to the novel I wrote last year and picked up where I left off, and the word count finally started rising. It was easier to get to 50,000 words this year. I think experience helps. Now, I earned it, and I've wanted one for a year, so I'm going to order one: a NaNoWriMo hoodie.

Requiem Night

I did not get very good pictures of requiem night. The room was dark (of course) lit only by candlelight (of course) and so my pictures came out terrible (of course). I'm leaving most of them out. oh well.

I had a good group of people show up: my wonderful cousin Alan, a few YSA's and a couple friends of my roommate's came and we had some fun eating treats and playing games, but the music portion of the evening didn't really work at all. It's hard to recreate something with new people. Still, I enjoyed laughing and having fun with new people who I hope will turn into friends.

The decorations were pretty cool, if I do say so myself.

Sarah and Shelly getting artistic on the mirror. We had an interesting picture by the time everyone contributed. These two painted "valuable rocks" for which our beloved deceased died for. I painted the moon with a silouette of a hot air ballon, because our dead guy was a champion baloonist. Alan painted an arm of the milky way galaxy next to the moon, complete with Jupiter and it's spot. We also had some flowers, some tombstones, and adding to the night sky theme, we had the Enterprise, a Romulan ship, and the Death Star.

 Alan painting his stars into the mirror mural.

 Our guest of honor. 

Getting Ready for Requiem Night

I tore the veil off a toy hat I found at walmart and spent the evening playing with my makeup and taking pictures of myself for a blog I'm using to invite people to Requiem Night 2010. You can click here, if you wanna see it, but these are the product of my evening:

I had a bunch of pictures from a nearby cemetary - I spent a couple hours in there taking pictures of interesting tombstones - that would've been perfect for the requiem blog, but I hit 'delete' instead of 'save!'

I hate when I do that.

Zuki Post

Hanging out on Aunt Dwynnie's bed.

 She's SO cute!!

Yep. Further proof. Wyoming is so empty they don't even have roads.

Point of Interest

I drove up to see the Mqombotis again over Labor Day. The visit was great. The drive was boring. Remember when I complained about how empty Wyoming is? That there is NOTHING there? Only empty miles...empty empty miles... Well, I lied. There is a rock. And a tree.  In the exact same spot. Now, THAT is what I call interesting and definately worth pulling over for.

These Three Months

Try to follow my ramblings if you can!!

I am sorry to have left my blog alone for so long, but I've been in a funk since moving and I refuse to use my blog as a place to whine. I'm feeling better now, beginning to enjoy myself here in Denver, and hopeful once again. I'm ready to resume blogging, and OH MY, I don't know where to start, for all through these last few months, I've been taking pictures here and there for blogging. It's all a bit mundane, but so is much of life, no?

I worked at Denver Water Resources in May and June, reorganizing and cataloging their small reference library. A dirty, dusty, sneezy job. Grateful to have it, though! I worked in the Centennial Building downtown, just down the road from the capitol building. When I was used to driving practically up to the door and walking in to work, it was weird to take a bus, walk  bit, ride an elevator everyday to the eighth floor, where my little project kept me sneezing all day.

The view from my cubicle at DWR, which I miss, as my current cube at DORA (Dept. of Regulatory Agencies) doesn't have a window and the entrance faces a wall. Blah.

In an effort to tell a bit more about my new apartment complex: There is a carport in the back for washing dirty cars! And boy, do they get dirty:

Apparently there was a dust storm in Arizona and we got dirty rain in Colorado as a result. Everything was super filthy for a long time! Including our apartment windows, which was a drag. (Can't wash 'em.)

...But we can wash our cars! LOVE this pressure gun thingy-binger. Cleans everything right off in a jiffy. Its much better than the one I got for Michael for Christmas a few years ago:

Christmas 2007.

There is a levy right along the back of our complex, which is where we are. My apartment is on the top on the corner in the picture. I was standing up on the levy walking path for the picture.

The levy pathway going down past our apartment. I get woken up (daily) by people walking on the gravel path. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch... People walk with others, jabbering about all kinds of stuff I don't want to know about. A LOT of them are on their cell phones while jabbering, several take their dogs on walks on the levy, yelling at them for being a dog as they romp and play... which bugs me! The dog isn't hurting anyone, but the master is waking people up (or keeping them up) with his ugly angry voice!! Rude.

A rainbow up at the other end of the levy path! We had FULL double rainbows in June...totally gorgeous! Once I noticed them, I spent a couple of hours up on the levy, until they faded away.

The levy is protecting a natural water resource. Once one is up along the top, the view is pretty. There is an expansive golf course off to the left here, so it gives an illusion of wider wilderness than there really is. It makes for a pleasant walk, but there is a downside: It stinks! ...I actually don't mind too much. For some reason, it reminds me of Twin Falls, at Gramma and Grampa Clawson's house. The levy smells like Idaho.

I had my oil changed at the end of June, just before my last trip up to Idaho to see Natalie. Look what I found on my seat when I got back in my car! I got a huge kick out of finding a flower there. It totally won me over and I'll be going back there again. I took it home and put it in a vase. What makes it blog-worthy? It was my first flower from a random guy! yay! Moving on.

I got a lot of good niece-footage from my last trip to Rexburg for the Fourth of July. I stayed for a grand total of 10 days with the Mqomboti family, and I adored every minute! I am so glad they welcomed me. I feel so much at home with them. I got a break from my worries and laughed freely. I needed that visit...it did me a LOT of good. Anyway, while there, we went to a really fun water park they have open to the public for free. Of course, I had to film Zuki and her parents having a fun day together:

How fun is that!? I like that I got both Nat and Mo in with Zukiswa. I just love my family. I get to go back up to Idaho over Labor Day weekend!! More footage! Though I wish I had a camera that took nice stills. My video camera never has, and now it's getting old. Oh well. Into the "Some Day" category all those wishes go.  I have gotten a couple wishes for myself, though:

Dishes!! At last!! And pretty ones, too! I really like 'em. I've been using three ugly old bowls I got for use at work a few years ago. Last week, I got so tired of those dumb bowls that I took myself off to Bed, Bath and Beyond, saw this set, studied all they had available but kept coming back to these. So I got them, and now I have pretty dishes! I also got sick of mugs and got some glasses, sick of knives that shred instead of slicing, so I got myself a set of kitchen knives, got sick of slipping on my bathroom floor, so I got a rug. I'm making myself a nice little space here, and thats good. Next thing I'm going to get sick of is feeling like I'm totally on display for people walking the levy, which is level with my balcony, and my vertical blinds don't do much for me. I'm not sure what I can do about it, though. I'm thinking.

I'm still alive, still moving forward, still on the lookout for good things. Still homesick, too, but working to be okay.  Life is good.

Homesick in Denver

Well, I left home 4 weeks ago today. It hurts. I can't believe I'm so far away from my family. I realize this is just the beginning and that the homesickness will ease, but for now, there are still a lot of tears. I'm searching for a new Dwynne and haven't really got much of an idea where to start looking.  This is confusing and frightening. But here I am. Can't really go home now.

I've spent the last few weeks maily job searching. I have a temp job beginning Monday, May 3, that will last me two months. Come July, I hope to have something more permanent lined up. I do feel better than I did at first now that I will have an income and something to do during the day.

I finally found the YSA ward, and am looking forward to finding new friends there.

My apartment is nice. I like the size of it. It's open and bright. Here are some pictures of it for you:

My new roommates: Kelley- and her cats.

My bed with a beautiful quilt made by my mother. I am so grateful to have it!

My desk on the other side of my room. I have a sliding door for a window that opens onto a balcony.

 

And, honestly, that's all I've got to report. I really appreciate all the good words of encouragement I've been getting from your comments and emails, so I do want to say thank you, and please please, send me more! I'm so very homesick.

Between California and Colorado

I left home on April 3, about 8:30 in the morning. It was a very odd morning; getting ready for the day, packing up my bedding and last minute items felt strange. My heart was pounding and I was constantly on the verge of tears, of course.  Once we had everything in my car, Dad gave me a father's blessing, I got my last hugs, and I got in the car and drove away. Very much the hardest thing I've ever done. Looking back on it, I don't see how I managed it.

The two men in my life taking care of me, making sure the car was as well packed as possible.

They did an incredible job.

I cried all through the first hour of my trip, which was dangerous, seeing as how I was on one of the curviest roads I know...still, I made it to Auburn and made the turn onto I-80. I got to Sparks, NV, my first gas stop, and texted Dad that I had made it that far, and here was his response:  "Miss you too. Keep going." Keep going!? All I wanted was to turn around and go home, and he's telling me to keep going!? A terrible thought, but he was right. I had to keep going. So I did. I kept driving. I have to do this one thing at a time, so I kept going.

First I went to see Grandma Clawson in Twin Falls, ID. She had warm rolls ready and a shoulder to cry on. We had a really good talk together, and I'll keep her advice as I begin this new time in my life. She showed me her emboidery project, and since I had all my stuff with me, I went out to the car and got mine to show to her.  She says I'm crazy and she's glad it's not her doing it. (Its a complicated project.) We laughed and talked and looked up my route on in her road atlas. Stopping to be with her was a good thing to do and I'm glad I did. In the morning, I got up and started on the road to Natalie's house in Rexburg.

We also had a really good visit together. I meant only to stay a couple nights, but Mo was having his premiere and, of course, I had to stay to see his project! Click here to see his interview on youtube, and here to see more on the project's blog.

Poor Zuki was feeling pretty sick while I was there, but I still adored every minute of my visit. Natalie was an incredibly patient mommy with her incredibly demanding sick little girl. We spent a lot of time talking on the couch over Zuki's zonked out body. I was in quite a state myself and cried almost as much as Zuki did. Poor Natalie! Having to console her baby and her emotional big sister...I don't blame her for leaving me on my own to go take a nap on my last afternoon!  Those few days with Natalie were precious, precious days to me. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute. 

Of course, most of what I got on camera was video, so here are some images from some of it (video to follow in another post--someday) taken between naps:

Zuki picking Mommy's nose

Eskimo kisses

Yes, she knows she's beautiful.

So, after a few days with the wonderful Mqomboti Family, I (tearfully) set off on Thursday morning, April 8, for Denver. It was a long, lonely drive. It started out quite lovely, driving through the beautiful Teton National Forest. (Yellowstone country). 

I crossed into Wyoming and had a couple more hours through pretty countryside, but then it turned flat and empty.

 

Crossing into Wyoming.

Because Grandma told me to if I got the chance, I stopped to stretch (and to eat the yummy chicken salad sandwich Natalie sent with me for lunch)  at a memorial for the pioneers on the Oregon Trail.

It reads: "SAND SPRINGS- A STOP ON THE OREGON TRAIL. This site is a crossing of the Lander cut-off, the northern fork of the Oregon Trail. Originally called the Fort Kearny- South Pass- Honey Lake Wagon Road when it opened in 1858, it was the first federally-funded road project west of the Mississippi River.  F.W. Lander mapped this new route, shortening the trip to the Pacific by 5 days and avoiding a ferry crossing to the south where price gouging was alleged. Sand Springs was the only reliable water available to emigrants between Muddy Creek, 8 miles to the east, and the New Fork River, 10 miles to the west. Until the coming of the Railroad in 1869, up to 300 wagons, thousands of cattle, horses, and mules may have passes here in a day. The trail ruts visible behind this sign and continuing over the next ridge are reminders of the largest known voluntary migration in world history.  From homesteading in the 1880's until the use of the automobile in the 1920's, Sand Springs remained an important watering hole for travelers and stock on the North/South New Fork to Rock Springs Wagon Road."

wagon ruts- an awesome sight, especially seeing for myself how barren the land is surrounding the trail.

I was utterly alone, hearing nothing but the wind as I stood by the trail. I was glad to get back in my car and speed onward with my journey. There was one more memorial on the way. A tombstone marker, not a grave, but to stand as a monument "to all pioneers who passed this way to win and hold the west.  Route of Sublette cut-off from Big Sandy to Bear River. Travelers after 1843 by emigrants to Oregon and California." Erected in 1947.

After this stop, I drove the rest of the long barren way to Cheyenne, WY, my last stop for gas before reaching Denver. It was a frustratingly dull drive through Wyoming. I honestly think I prefer the drive through Nevada! I totally wanted to get a picture of the welcome to Colorado sign, but it came right after entering the freeway from Cheyenne, and I think I was navigating between big rigs and I missed it. Oh well.

My route from Placerville, CA: about 1,400 miles, 24 hours driving time, $148 worth of gas,

12 discs of my favorite book on CD, and thousands of tears to Denver, CO.

A)Placerville B)Twin Falls C)Rexburg D)Denver.

I got through the city okay, but the GPS my friend lent me was programmed for the street, not the address, so it got me off the freeway and announced "you have reached your destination." I suddenly had to call upon all my powers to not freak out, found a place to stop and properly program my destination, and drove the rest of the way to my new apartment complex. I did have to call my friend and now roommate, Kelley, to help me towards the end, but I got here safe and sound, and she was waiting for me with a huge smile and a hug.

To Be Continued...

Onward

This will be my last blog post from California. I was originally planning to leave yesterday, but we have had some crazy rainy weather, which means that chains were required to get over the Sierra Mountains…and I have no desire to deal with that. I also remember a horror story my cousins once told me about getting stuck on the pass for 8 hours!!! So, no…I will wait for the sun to come out before I begin my mini road trip. Friday is now the departure day.


I’m going up to see my Grandma Clawson in Twin Falls, Idaho, then over to Rexburg to visit my little sister and her family (my adorable niece!!) and then on Monday morning I will get myself on the road to Denver.

I’ve spent the last couple days packing my stuff up, throwing things away and donating much to the hospice. Even after all that, and with the help of the men in my life (Dad and my brother Michael) we were not able to get it all into my car. There are two boxes of books getting left behind. It’s not too tragic. I’ve read most of them, and I’m sure they have Borders in Denver, or at least a Barnes & Noble, where I can get more. But my car sits in the garage, full tank, full cargo, and ready to go.

As expected, I feel a lot of emotions as I prepare to leave home. Excitement, peace, anticipation, nerves, anxiety…but that comes with doing anything new. Once I have myself established in my apartment, in my own space, with a new job, I will be fine. Great, even. But for now, the thing I feel most is sadness. I’m sad that the time to be so close to my parents is over. I love being able to come to my Dad to talk, I love being around Mom, and having my nose in my brother’s face is one of the best things I know. Good people who love me back, and here I am, leaving them, to go far away to be on my own. What a sad thing!! I will miss them.

But now to flip that around: I want this. I created this. This is going to be exactly what I need. I’m going to grow!  I’m moving forward!

I'm Moving!

It's about time I made this bit of news "blog offical." I'm leaving California. I have a friend, Kelley, in Denver, Colorado who has been planting little seeds in my brain to get me to move out there and room with her, and I guess they finally took root. I'm going.  I'm moving to Denver. Honest to blog.

I feel really great about this decision. There are no major reasons why I shouldn't go, except that I'll miss my parents and brother... miss being somewhere safe and comfortable. But it's like a mini-plan of salvation. I need to leave my wonderful home and go out into the world to experience those things that will help me grow into the best woman I can be.

I've been working at Rack-it Truck Racks for almost 4 years, the longest I've been at a job. Today I gave a tearful notice to Denise, who has been my supervisor and one of the best cheerleaders in my life. It seemed to me that she was not at all suprised. She gave me hugs and encouragement; told me she was proud of me and excited. She is a really great lady. She's not a member of the LDS church, but she is very spiritual and speaks truths that are uplifting and interesting. I've liked her from the beginning, and I'm sad to leave her behind.

Last March, when Rack-it found it necessary to cut my hours to only 16 a week, I began working for A-Total Fire Protection as an assistant to the office manager, Tymphani. She has known about my plans for a few months and generously agreed to keep me on until I go, even though she's been wanting someone full time. More encouragement coming from her, as well.

So now that both jobs know I'm leaving, I feel I can talk (squeal) about it freely: I'm MOVING!!Awoohoo!!

I'll pack up my car and drive away on March 30th. Kelley is sending me her GPS so I won't get lost, because, as you can see, it's a looooong way. (Wyoming!? I get to hit a new state! cool!)

I'll be living in The Lowry Park Apartments, on the third floor, at Kelley's stipulation, apt #1831. (not a picture of the actual apartment...you'll have to wait 'til I get there for that.)

Here is a look at our floor plan. I want the room with the bathroom attached. If she got her stipulation, I should totally get mine. Right? Right!

I'll be living with Kelley in her living room for the first two weeks, while I look for and begin a new job (squeal) and we will move into our new apartment on April 12th.

I feel completely sure that this is the right thing to do. I'm not even asking whether or not I go in my prayers anymore. Heavenly Father has answered me. Except for the anxiety that comes with doing something new, I feel absolutely at peace. I even catch myself trying to feel more upset than I actually do. Odd, I know, but I'll catch myself caught up in a circular thought pattern that usually consists of: oh my gosh what am I doing what am I thinking i just quit my job... but through all that comes that quiet voice that reminds me what peace feels like and I realize that when Heavenly Father is telling me to go, I don't need to freak out. And so I'm not. And it feels great.

pictures from Lowry's website and google maps