Onward

This will be my last blog post from California. I was originally planning to leave yesterday, but we have had some crazy rainy weather, which means that chains were required to get over the Sierra Mountains…and I have no desire to deal with that. I also remember a horror story my cousins once told me about getting stuck on the pass for 8 hours!!! So, no…I will wait for the sun to come out before I begin my mini road trip. Friday is now the departure day.


I’m going up to see my Grandma Clawson in Twin Falls, Idaho, then over to Rexburg to visit my little sister and her family (my adorable niece!!) and then on Monday morning I will get myself on the road to Denver.

I’ve spent the last couple days packing my stuff up, throwing things away and donating much to the hospice. Even after all that, and with the help of the men in my life (Dad and my brother Michael) we were not able to get it all into my car. There are two boxes of books getting left behind. It’s not too tragic. I’ve read most of them, and I’m sure they have Borders in Denver, or at least a Barnes & Noble, where I can get more. But my car sits in the garage, full tank, full cargo, and ready to go.

As expected, I feel a lot of emotions as I prepare to leave home. Excitement, peace, anticipation, nerves, anxiety…but that comes with doing anything new. Once I have myself established in my apartment, in my own space, with a new job, I will be fine. Great, even. But for now, the thing I feel most is sadness. I’m sad that the time to be so close to my parents is over. I love being able to come to my Dad to talk, I love being around Mom, and having my nose in my brother’s face is one of the best things I know. Good people who love me back, and here I am, leaving them, to go far away to be on my own. What a sad thing!! I will miss them.

But now to flip that around: I want this. I created this. This is going to be exactly what I need. I’m going to grow!  I’m moving forward!